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Secure File Transfer Protocol, SFTP, is a common method to move files across networks without letting other people snoop on them.  A 3rd party wanted to use SFTP to drop inventory files on a computer and I put in a request with the in-house technical team to do this.  My ticket to our desktop support person was “please open port 22 to SFTP traffic.  I need move files securely and port 80 will not do.”

Later, I was called by a very confused networking person who after some talking sent me the original request made of him from desktop support.  My original request  had been recorded as “Please open 22 additional ports so SFTP traffic can move files securely.  80 ports will not do.”

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I went to pick up my repaired iMac:

Attendant: Ok, sir.  Your computer is done, I just need you to sign here.
Me: *receives paperwork, begins reading*
Attendant: May I help you?
Me: Just reading.  *reads*  I’m not signing this.
Attendant: Why, sir?
Me: The last line says “by signing here you are stating that all repairs have been satisfactorily completed”.  I don’t have the computer yet, so I have no idea.
Attendant: I can’t give you the computer until you sign.
Me: And I can’t sign until you give me the computer.  It appears we’re at an impass.  So, what do we do?
Attendant: *pause* My boss will be back within the hour.  You can wait until then.
Me: *raises eyebrow*
Attendant: *begins visibly sweating* Uh, we can plug it in.
Me: And…
Attendant: In the store, then you can see that it picks up wifi and the repair will be done!
Me: Sure.
Attendant: *plugs in computer, boots* See, “NETGEAR”.  It works.
Me: Wonderful.

I read the fine print not to protect myself but because it often provides the chance for an adventure.

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My iMac apparently came with a wireless card.  Doesn’t seem to be working.  Called Apple Technical Support.

Me: My iMac’s wireless card doesn’t appear to be working.
Tech #1: Sir, your device is out of warranty, would you like to sign up for an extra year or would you like to pay the $34.95 cost for a spot license?
Me: It’s a hardware issue which is still covered.  Can I just get an RMA?
Tech #1: That is yet to be determined.
Me: The card is not appearing in the system.
Tech #1: Sir, please choose.
Me: Do I get a refund if it turns out to be a hardware issue?
Tech #1: I believe, let me check.  *five minute pause* Yes, sir.  Pardon the delay, I had to elevate the question several times to get an answer.
Me: I’ll take the one-off option.  You don’t deal with legit hardware issues often, do you?
Tech #1: No.  Let me transfer you to a technical agent.
Me: Ok.
Tech #2: Sir, I see you’ve chosen the spot warranty option.  I’ll walk you through the fix.
Me: I don’t think it’ll work.  The card’s simply not appearing.
Tech #2: Let’s try a few things *tries a few things*
Me: Can I just get an RMA for this?
Tech #2: It’s almost always a software issue.  Let’s try one more thing.  *tries one more thing*  Hm… still no luck.  Let’s get you a repair authorization.
Me: Ok.
Tech #3: Sir, your RMA # is XXXXX.  Pardon for the wait.
Me: Can I get my refund for the call too?
Tech #3: Sure, one moment.  *comes back 5 minutes later*  Sorry for the delay, sir, no one on my floor recalled having actually dealt with a hardware issue of this kind and no one knew the refund procedure.
Me: So, am I getting a refund?
Tech #3: Yes, the department service VP did the refund by hand.
Me: You don’t deal with a lot of actual hardware issues, do you?
Tech #3: No, sir.  Usually customers have a software issue or just decide to upgrade.

Ha, years of working with Windows has given me an intuitive sense of when the hardware’s just borked.  Take that, Apple.

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I wanted to do a printer test but found that the printer wasn’t properly registering the light light grey cartridge which seemed odd as the printer was about as new as possible.  I checked the technical documentation, ran through the Nintendo fix of remove, blow on the contacts, and replace and decided to call Epson.  Their technical support line is open from 8 AM to midnight six days a week which seemed exceptional and so I called around 11 PM.

Me: *Dial number, rings three times*
Other end: Epson Professional Technical Support, this is Matt how may I help you?
Me: *silence*
Other end: Hello?
Me: Yes, hi.  I was surprised a… person answered.
Other end: Yeah, we answer the phones ourselves except for periods of very high call volume.
Me: Ok, I’m having a problem with my Epson 4900. A cartridge isn’t being recognized.
Other end: I remember working on developing that printer.  Isn’t she a beaut?

He then walked me through the fix.  So, the phone was answered quickly, by a person, who spoke English, who worked on developing the product.  Assuming that policy doesn’t change and the printer neither stabs me nor burns my house down, I think my next printer will also be an Epson.