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As an hourly employee, I’m not a terrible fan of snow days.  Like most closings, it simply a way of saying “try and get 40 hours in now, bitch” while the full-time staff blows a holiday to make-up the difference.  Late openings are a different beast entirely as the calculus of presence changes.  If one shows up and one’s supervisor doesn’t, the work time is entirely unverifiable.  Alternatively, some may expect their wards to arrive on time in spite of the delay and yet others use it as an excuse to try to force time out of people later.  So, what was the outcome of the snow day roulette?  By some stroke of amazing luck all three of four of the full time office members were sick today.  What are the odds of this happening?  I wanted to find out:

The average American gets 1.7 colds a year lasting on average 3 days generate 2.8 sickdays a year.  Let’s assume most colds come in a 4-month window and that colds that are start at the same time are independent of one another.  What’s that come out to?  About 0.00041%.  Sure glad I trudged through the snow to get in my time and to see that statistical miracle.

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First: A pretty and oversaturated view south of the bridge at Tyler State Park

February 20, 2010-2-KlondikePanos

I think chromatic aberration is nicely magnified by Lightroom’s vibrancy function.

The Boy Scout event had nine sleds with 49 Scouts using 15 stations.  The two most innovative were Ravine Crossing and Hatchet Throwing.

Ravine Crossing involved Scouts moving their sled across a fake gully using ropes and such but the station operator was not impressed.  “The name of the station is Ravine Crossing.  There will be a ravine, and kids will cross it.”  I laughed but later saw the swath of destruction he had wrought.

February 20, 2010-151-KlondikeDerby

The actual event is at least 100 feet from the actual trail and more than one tree was… adjusted.

The sled race was simply spectacular.  Normally, the winning team lifts their sled and simply guns the entire course which is a soccer field.  10 inches of wet snow with the adhesive power of gorilla glue turned the course into a forced march through quicksand.  Instead of celebrating after victory the winning team literally collapsed and made snow people-grabbing-their-calves-gripping-the-Charlie-Horse.

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Rest of Photos

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The cat has a nonchalant  attitude towards snow.  He recognizes that it’s cold and to be avoided but seems to use his tail as a periscope in the deep stuff.  My dog on the other hand treats the stuff as would the caveman materials scientist.  He will pee in it and marvel as how he can carve a path through it.  It’s the only time I’ve seen a dog watch itself pee.  He seems to realize snows lightness but hops from place to place not like a kangaroo but like a blind person on a pogo stick.  There are divets separated by gaps which form canine crop circles whirling across the yard near his favorite bark-at-nothing-in-particular spot.  Most impressive is how he periodically stares at the snowscape, becomes one with the Matrix essence of it and lunges for something at the level of the actual ground.  This process repeats itself maybe ten times and then he moves on to whirling dervish mode before resuming his nasal spearfishing.   Most impressively, he’s learned to wait on the walk mat to have the snow removed.  If only he could repeat this trick when covered in water, mud, kitty litter, or groundhog fur.

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Snow is pretty, I like looking out windows and seeing it and will even walk through the stuff in appropriate quantities.  I glanced out the window today and saw a gleaming field of white and was rather excited.  Had snow fallen while I wasted the hours on configuring desktops?  What I interpreted as snow was actually a set of tents for a catered luncheon for a product launch involving people that did vastly less work on the product than I did.  Not only was it not snow, but it was the opposite of purity.  Not only was it not snow, but it was like 48°F outside.  Not only was it not snow, but it was an expense that I’m going to blame for me not getting a 10k hard drive and upgraded video card in my new work computer.  It wasn’t snow, it was the paragon of non-snow, it was anti-snow.  I hope it snows so the snow and anti-snow make contact and blow up.

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I drove into work today at 10:30 in the midst of a snow storm.  I crawled through the Pennsylvania half of my trip that usually takes 24 minutes in 68 and by the time I crested the Scudders Falls bridge my car had a two in layer of ice on it.  Entering Jersey, the hatred and loathing of the native folk must have heated the air as snow had turned to rain.  I enter my work parking lot as the only vehicle bespeckled with snow.  Visitors were stunned, padestrians awestruck by the visage of wintery hoarfrost sent like a timetraveler to show what was to come.

Come darkest winter, I will strap palm leaves to my car and drive with a wreath in my hair to be met as Freya, God of Spring.

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I successfully made it about 12 feet from my driveway before I started sliding wildly (I’m certain my tires may rival Teflon for a low coefficient of friction) and pulled out my phone to call my boss but was delayed by a voicemail from my boss stating he couldn’t leave his driveway and I didn’t have to go to work.