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My shopping list of the camporee has involved some strange bedfellows like 12 hula hoops, 13 tennis balls, 2 funnels, 3 beach balls and 2 kids sized exercise balls.  Some oddities:

  • I went to Toys R’ Us to buy kids exercise balls thinking they’d make giant kick balls.  I asked a store attending how burst resistant they were to which she replied “profoundly, I know someone who couldn’t even pop one with a mechanical pencil.”
  • Me yelling asking a cluster of teens at Oxford Valley mall to make way as I walked through their cohort with 12 hula hoops wearing aviator glasses.
  • The Leslie’s Pool desk attendant asking me if diving rings would do instead of a beach ball for my giant volleyball game.

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The Playwicki Dinner was un-remarkable. The Roast for Lew Mohr involved some strong language and I got to jab him for my hatred of his damn-near jingoistic emails that he refuses to recognize as spam despite having 2000 recipients all listed in the “To” line and enough flag gifs and smileys to reduce 1997 to tears.

They also had a silent auction which I a novel way to minimize donor value by having someone donate 40 dollars of stuff that may sell for 20. I received a Starbucks Gift box that probably sold for something egregious during the holidays for $12.00. I don’t drink coffee but I do enjoy large mugs (cappuccino mugs, apparently) that can hold a whole can of soup. I brought my package home and threw out the rock candy and “tasting squares” which would make fun-sized candy appear brobdingnagian. I grabbed the mug, held it up to the kitchen light in triumph and saw clear through it. Mind you, the mug was shrink wrapped and there was no chunk of ceramic tumbling in the faux woven basket that would have filled the 1/4″ hole. Did someone shoot it with a BB gun in the factory before packaging it? Was it hit by some particle weapon in transit? Maybe this is why the gift basket was donated.

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The Playwicki Dinner was un-remarkable. The Roast for Lew Mohr involved some strong language and I got to jab him for my hatred of his damn-near jingoistic emails that he refuses to recognize as spam despite having 2000 recipients all listed in the “To” line and enough flag gifs and smileys to reduce 1997 to tears.

They also had a silent auction which I a novel way to minimize donor value by having someone donate 40 dollars of stuff that may sell for 20. I received a Starbucks Gift box that probably sold for something egregious during the holidays for $12.00. I don’t drink coffee but I do enjoy large mugs (cappuccino mugs, apparently) that can hold a whole can of soup. I brought my package home and threw out the rock candy and “tasting squares” which would make fun-sized candy appear brobdingnagian. I grabbed the mug, held it up to the kitchen light in triumph and saw clear through it. Mind you, the mug was shrink wrapped and there was no chunk of ceramic tumbling in the faux woven basket that would have filled the 1/4″ hole. Did someone shoot it with a BB gun in the factory before packaging it? Was it hit by some particle weapon in transit? Maybe this is why the gift basket was donated.

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I listened to the latest episode of Downloadable Content from Penny Arcade and heard the parties told tales of his father battery acid mishap and air-sawing.  I had heard rumors of air-sawing from my dad (one holds the piece of wood in one hand and a circular saw being either braced by nothing or with another body part) and thought such feats of daring limited to imagination or possibly inner Appalachia.

I should have known that of all the places where a father would exhibit such daring, a Pinewood Derby would be the place to see it.  One kid’s Pinewood Derby car came in over weight and seeing the race time approach the father took drastic measures to reduce weight.  Normally, one may file off a few things here or there or may be drill lightly, this man put the Pinewood Derby car in his palm, wrapped his hand around it, and with the 18.5 volt power drill and a 3/8ths bit started drilling into the car towards his palm.  This act was not taken lightly as shown by his tightened jaw and the bulging of previously non-existent arm muscles.  If the drill had slipped and he’d bored through his hand I’m confident his anger would be not at the fact that he’d given himself an impromptu case of stigmata but that the blood splatter would add to the weight of the car.

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I’ve never liked District Commissioner Meetings. If someone’s having a problem with a unit, the District’s already been contacted and hopefully dealt with. I vented on the miscommunications of the OSR leader guide another commissioner talked about the five calls required to get a Philmont policy question cleared and our fearless leader discussed the the difficulty of getting more Commissioners.

I looked around the table at the gaggle of volunteers who are filling two and three jobs and realized Commissioner Meetings are the closest Scouting comes to Group Therapy. If you’re a Scout and feel taxed, I strongly recommend becoming a unit commissioner, it’s… therapeutic.

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Eagle Courts of Honor are slowly turning into 4th grade graduation ceremony in not marking anything special except for an excuse for a ceremony. One day in the dim past they were glorious and planned now they’re ad libbed and poorly choreographed, even the decorum of the guests have dropped.  Yesterday, I attended one for an unusually competent staff member and noted the following:

  • A presenter forgot her glasses to read an accolade and someone in the room shouted “FAIL!”
  • During the closing the kids doing the points of the Scout Law began giggling uncontrollably and tried to recite them sounding like John Wayne
  • Someone laughed when I said “Appius Claudius Caecus” during my presentation.
  • Some woman tried to correct me when I said “Brindisi” as the end of the Appian Way, her thinking it was Bren- or Brundisi.
  • The same woman shouted “oh, yes!” when I mentioned the Romans.

I hate Eagle Courts of Honor.  Now I can at least say “well, this one wasn’t as bad as the time I got heckled talking about the origin of the term milestone”

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I went to the council service center for a webinar, I had to drive to.  I left 75 minutes ahead for what’s normally a 30 minute ride and barely arrive on time because of all the snow for a webinar, I had to drive to.  We all squinted at the screen, which was projected, which was hard to see because the resolution of the projector was different from that of the laptop, which didn’t rescale, at the webinar I had to drive to.  The meeting started and the man began describing the amazing interface which I’m pretty sure was powered by three things:

  • ASP Nuke
  • TinyMCE
  • RSS
  • Mysql

All of which are either open-source, a web standard or flat out free.  I learned they used these technology at the webinar that I had to drive to.  I learned that the recommended way to move from a Word Document to a web document was to move the text into notepad and then copy it into the TinyMCE form making the block body text and completely unformatted, at the webinar I had to drive to.

In this vein of fearsome efficiency I look forward to having to snail-mail an email or possible drive to a conference call.

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I’m running the Playwicki District Klondike Derby and learning from my previous errors planned and advertised the program months in advance.  It’s now three weeks from the event date and I’ve 12 stations of 30 covered.  I started placing calls to leaders and was simply stunned by the responses I received.  One was curious as to why we wanted his kids and adults, apparently not realizing that someone need put on the program their kids will enjoy as if the district had a legion of elves that pop out to perform programs.  Another stated he needed his parents to go around with their sled, really?  You need that many kids to escort Boy Scouts with a fake sled to stations where kids do practically infant-safe activities, in a park where almost the entire event can be viewed at once?  More amazing is that they were bringing more parent escorts than the unit of special needs kids.  And these are genuine special needs kids, retard-strength and all.  They manage to do fine, maybe because they’re a special kind of special that makes them a different kind of special compared to this lazy group’s special.

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I was approached during the Roundtable by a leader who’se never seen quite eye-to-eye with me about Scouting and program and such when he asked me a question:
Leader: Terry?
Me: Yes.
Leader: I had a question about the Klondike Derby Packet
Me:  I didn’t think your unit was participating.
Leader: We’re not, I was wondering what font you used for the top part.
Me: Copperplate Gothic
Leader: Thanks.

Wow, what kudos!  I think I’ve made a real breakthrough with this guy.

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I was approached during the Roundtable by a leader who’se never seen quite eye-to-eye with me about Scouting and program and such when he asked me a question:
Leader: Terry?
Me: Yes.
Leader: I had a question about the Klondike Derby Packet
Me:  I didn’t think your unit was participating.
Leader: We’re not, I was wondering what font you used for the top part.
Me: Copperplate Gothic
Leader: Thanks.

Wow, what kudos!  I think I’ve made a real breakthrough with this guy.