My brother decided to test out the NordicTrac I found on Craigslist and gave him this Christmas. I warned him that the motion require was initially awkward and I left to avoid the cries of pain and angst that would flow from my room. 10 minutes, I returned to my brother yelling “I got it!” Which was true, in a sense, normally the pose one takes is something like this. He was using it like this.
Tag: Ryan
Apple foot, tasty
My brother has recently taken a fancy to scented candles. Â Today I noticed the one burning was Apple Pie and noticed the below the title the label said “Pie de manzana” which I assume is Spanish. Â Literally translated, this comes out to “apple foot”, a condition I’d rather not smell in candle form.
I are talk good
I purchased a number of pieces of exercise equipment for my brother for Christmas and while he was at work I tested and tweaked them all so they’d hopefully function as he wanted when he actually received them. Â After testing the stair stepper I failed to hide it and my brother found it in my room while i was using the computer.
Him: “Where’d you get the stairstepper?”
Me: “I found it”
Him: “Where?”
Me: “In the garbage” – Good job me! Make him think I scrounged his gifts!
Him: “Who was throwing it away?”
Me: “The gym stuff store” – Best cover ever!
Him: “Okay”
For those who say I only post my verbal triumphs here’s a fabulous example of what happens when I forget how to talk.
Overkill saves overdone
Ryan has been doing a lot of the cooking recently so I prepared marinaded pork for him, my father and I.  I prepared this in my typical way:  A pan sear in a cast iron skillet for 90 seconds a side followed by 2 minutes in an oven set to kill (500°F).  Little did I realize how long I had left the skillet on the burner top on high as later I would discover that the iron was oxidizing off.  Anyway, I add some salt and peanut oil and turn my head only to hear a “woof” followed by a nutty smell.  I’m pretty sure my dad saw this coming as he went to open the door for me.  How did I get a 800°F cast iron pan out the door you may ask?  Because like any incompetent chef I use flame proof welding gloves instead of pot holders.  Fuck you, Martha Stewart Everyday.