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Sometimes I review my photos and say “there’s nothing here” and think that I really blow. Then I see someone else’s pictures and my self-image improves immeasurably, today was such a day.

A person at the Pinewood Derby took pictures with his nice little DSLR.  He looked like he knew what he was doing until I reviewed the shots.  Picture after picture the plane of focus was completely off from the target.  The foreground that should be the winning kid holding his car looks like it was taken through a glass privacy wall but the furniture is tack sharp.  Either this guy is spying for Ikea or needs to be alerted to the fact that his camera has ADHD when it comes to focusing.

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The Pinewood Derby is this Sunday and a leader contacted me about changing his participation line-up:

Him: I have two kids dropping, is that a problem?
Me: Nope, we’ll just change the pairings.
Him:  Ok, can I pick up their car, patch, and certificate on Sunday then?
Me: Sure, except the certificate.
Him: Why not the certificate?
Me: It’s for participating in the Pinewood Derby.
Him: So?  They won at the pack level.
Me: Yes, but they never participated in the actual district race, so they shouldn’t get a certificate for something they didn’t do.
Him: But they deserve a certificate.
Me: *realizing that logic is of no use* How about this, if they show up to race, I’ll give them a certificate ?
Him: Sounds goods.

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I listened to the latest episode of Downloadable Content from Penny Arcade and heard the parties told tales of his father battery acid mishap and air-sawing.  I had heard rumors of air-sawing from my dad (one holds the piece of wood in one hand and a circular saw being either braced by nothing or with another body part) and thought such feats of daring limited to imagination or possibly inner Appalachia.

I should have known that of all the places where a father would exhibit such daring, a Pinewood Derby would be the place to see it.  One kid’s Pinewood Derby car came in over weight and seeing the race time approach the father took drastic measures to reduce weight.  Normally, one may file off a few things here or there or may be drill lightly, this man put the Pinewood Derby car in his palm, wrapped his hand around it, and with the 18.5 volt power drill and a 3/8ths bit started drilling into the car towards his palm.  This act was not taken lightly as shown by his tightened jaw and the bulging of previously non-existent arm muscles.  If the drill had slipped and he’d bored through his hand I’m confident his anger would be not at the fact that he’d given himself an impromptu case of stigmata but that the blood splatter would add to the weight of the car.