While discussing campmaster weekends, Nick Lutz pulled out his phone and the table went silent. It was huge. After several “that’s what she said” joke we began beating on his massive phone. The phone was larger than the three other phones at the table combined and was subject to the following insults.
- Your phone is coal powered.
- Is there a small man in there that runs back and forth around a mini-print shop pulling up letters and putting them on the screen?
- Do you clear the screen by lifting it and shaking it like an Etch-A-Sketch?
- The Soviets called, they want their first phone back.
- It’s not actually a phone, it’s a small factory that generates one-time-use smaller phones.
- What do you do when the nuclear pile inside goes critical?
- Have you ever hid inside of your phone to avoid danger?
- Have you ever had your phone seized at an airport as a weapon?
- Does your phone get power from eating smaller phones?
- Have you ever used it as a surf-board.
- Does your phone have a seperate upper-case and lower case keyboard?
- That phone’s hideous, it’s like having a baby with 60 toes.
- That phone contains a stenographer that writes down everything he says and a small printer to produce the text.
- I picture your phone serving as the Grand Marshall of a Gay Pride Parade, top hat, baton and all.
Did I miss any?
