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I went to Men’s Warehouse to get a shirt and go to talk to Lee:

Me: I’m looking for a few nice size 20 long-sleeved shirts.
Tailor: Why are you going that large?
Me: I’ve found that gives me the space I need in the paunch *points to gut*.
Tailor: You should be fine in a 18 or 19 *pulls out tape, measures neck* Yep, you’re a 18 and a half.  Try these.
Me: I don’t know.
Tailor: Who’s the tailor?
Me: *puts on shirt* Huh, it does fit.  But my other size 18.5s don’t.
Tailor: That’s because you’re buying crappy shirts.  What was rag, George Foreman Casual… Van Hausen?
Me: I don’t know [it was a van Hausen].
Tailor: Those are trash shirts, they make money by shorting you on fabric.  Stick with me and you’ll be never not fabulous.
Me: Thank you, Lee.

If only one day he’d look at me and say “Stick with me, kid, and I’ll make you a star”.

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In a previous episode, I had a terrible run in with Men’s Warehouse but in that Today’s Man is out business and Men’s Warehouse has launched a Big and Tall line (euphemism for “we fit fat people”) I gave them a try.  The fellow that met me at the door had bleached teeth and unsurprisingly, a really nice suit.  He asked me what I wanted and I gave him the standard description for what I want in a suit, 2 button (otherwise I look like I have boobs, or at least more so), single-breasted, dark blue, cuffed pants, slightly short in the arms.

He asked me my name, I told him:
Lee (salesman): Terry, have you had trouble buying suits before?
Me: Yes… One of your stores in fact.
Lee: I know what you’re problem is.
Me: What’s that?
Lee: You’re not fat, and there’s clothing out there for you.

Clothing for non-fat people.  How amazing!  He picked out some things for me to try on, and I was swimming in them.  He said they were perfect, I told him I normally wear a smaller size (God, I don’t say that much) and he shooed me to the authentic Hispanic seamstress.  In a flurry of hand motion, pins were put into places, fabric was folded, smooth salsa was on the radio and when she was done, Lee stepped in, looked at the seamstress and said in his nasal New York Jewish accent “Marisa, que bueno”.   I agreed.

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In a previous episode, I had a terrible run in with Men’s Warehouse but in that Today’s Man is out business and Men’s Warehouse has launched a Big and Tall line (euphemism for “we fit fat people”) I gave them a try.  The fellow that met me at the door had bleached teeth and unsurprisingly, a really nice suit.  He asked me what I wanted and I gave him the standard description for what I want in a suit, 2 button (otherwise I look like I have boobs, or at least more so), single-breasted, dark blue, cuffed pants, slightly short in the arms.

He asked me my name, I told him:
Lee (salesman): Terry, have you had trouble buying suits before?
Me: Yes… One of your stores in fact.
Lee: I know what you’re problem is.
Me: What’s that?
Lee: You’re not fat, and there’s clothing out there for you.

Clothing for non-fat people.  How amazing!  He picked out some things for me to try on, and I was swimming in them.  He said they were perfect, I told him I normally wear a smaller size (God, I don’t say that much) and he shooed me to the authentic Hispanic seamstress.  In a flurry of hand motion, pins were put into places, fabric was folded, smooth salsa was on the radio and when she was done, Lee stepped in, looked at the seamstress and said in his nasal New York Jewish accent “Marisa, que bueno”.   I agreed.