This weekend was looking to be a hot one and I was going to be trudging around an asphalt jungle in long pants so I stopped by Men’s Warehouse to see what options they had for pants cooler than the standard cotton I use, maybe a tissue chino or some other modern fabric.

Me: I’m looking for dress pants that are as thermally cool as possible.
Associate: Do you care about color?
Me: No, dark or light, doesn’t matter.
Associate:  Do you care what cut the legs are?
Me: No, as long as it covers them.
Associate: Then I know the perfect thing.  *Grabs pants* These are a traditional fabric being made of flax, with a stylish short leg cut, and…
Me: You’re proposing I wear linen manpris?
Associate: These also have a stylish draw string for an adjustable waste so that…
Me: Pardon, you’re proposing I wear draw string linen manpris?  I don’t consider those dress.
Associate: Well, it does absorb much more moisture before feeling damp, billows lightly, and gets softer as you wash them.
Me: None of those address the fundamental problem I have that you’re proposing I wear, with a straight face, drawstring linen manpris as a “dress pant”.
Associate: How about a light wool?
Me: Wonderful.

I miss you, Lee.