A high school friend who’s helping me learn some aspects of programming was over today:

Him: Terry, where’s your bathroom?
Me: It’s the first door on the left.
Him: Ok.
*realizing there’s  a stack of my housemate’s  adult magazines on top of the toilet tank*
Me: BUT I HAVE TO SUDDENLY GO MORE.
*darts past him, covers magazine stack with hand towel*
Me: Yes, the bathroom is still there, but do not use the hand towel on the top of the toilet.
Him: Why?
Me: …It’s for my cat.

Smooth, Terry.