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Baking Challenge Lady returned today:

Her: Is this a carrot cake?
Me: No.  It’s a fudge cake.
Her: Oh, so it’s a carrot cake.
Me: No.  It’s a fudge cake.
Her: A fudge cake.  Interesting.
Me: By the way, I never caught your name.
Her: <her name>, what’s yours? (Despite that she sought me by name on our first meeting)
Me: Terry.
Her: Oh, I’ve wanted to meet you.
Me: You did, last week, when you asked for me by name.
Her: It is you! (What?)
Me: Anyway, your palms feel rough, would you like some skin cream? *Present bottle of our firm’s skin cream*
Her: Thank you.  *Takes dollop and rubs it onto the back of her hand* So you made this from scratch?
Me: I do with most of my stuff, except for pie doughs, I suck at pie doughs.  And you?
Her: Usually, but I take shortcuts like using cake mix and buying the frosting in those little cans.

Ah… Mind you, if I were really a purist I would steep the vanilla beans myself and squeeze the egg out of the chicken but I’m confident in saying buying cake mix and frosting is not considered baking from scratch.  I am now not only fighting for myself, my department, or my sex, but for every person who’s ever f*ed up recipe but gotten away with it because it was made with grandma’s recipe which included things like rounded 1/4 tablespoons, sweet milk (from a time when buttermilk was common) and considered instant yeast the devil’s powder.  I will win, and it will be glorious.

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My company requires IE6 on its computers and bars upgrading. One can install another browser as long as you import the network settings and I’ve used both Firefox and Chrome without incident since September. Today, I had a conversation with my boss about it.

Boss: So, the people that do the web app we use for doc management has recommended I try “The Firefox”. What is it?
Me: It’s a web browser, like Internet Explorer but without the suck.
Boss: I thought IE was the only browser after the loss of Netscape Navigator. Is it expensive?
Me: It’s free, and has a plugin architecture that’s quite keen.
Boss: I don’t know. I’ve always been skeptical of anyone who’d give their software away.

Anyway, he gave it a try and is now going through some sort of browser experimentation phase. I think I saw him run Firefox, IE, Safari and Konquerer simultaneously. I was worried at first that he’d gone overboard but he’s a sharp fellow. Although I may have to intervene if I see him using Flock, Opera or Ice Weasel.

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Sometimes I embellish dialog to make a narrative clear. Today, I have no need.
Woman: Are you, Terry?
Me: I am.
Woman: And are these where the muffins are?
Me: Were, they’re gone.
Woman: So you do bake. So do I, I’m here to challenge you.
Me: Oh, ok.
Woman: I brought in brownies Friday, and they’re still here. (That’s a display of prowess?)
Me: And you’re challenging me to?
Woman: Bake.
Me: I do, we just talked about muffins.
Woman: I am the queen of baking, and it I will remain. I’m not going to lose my crown to an upstart.
Me: Persuant to my statement of sex in HR, I am fine with you being the queen of baking. (Also, I’ve been here longer)
Woman: *Scowl* One day, I will challenge you.
Me: Ok.
Somehow, this has been spreading around and I’ve randomly stopped in the hall-

Coworker #1: Don’t worry, Terry. She makes a fine cupcake, but she couldn’t match you in muffins.
Coworker #2: I have a faith in you. I have tasted your bacon cookies, and I became a better person.
Coworker #2: Don’t fucking worry, she fucking burns every fucking thing she’s ever fucked *awkward moment* up making.

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After a former temp left, my weekly routine of Wednesday lunch with my same-aged cohort at work was broken until I reached out and found two other folk under 35 to join us for this week.  We discussed our coworkers, jobs, backgrounds and such and was unsure if this’d continue until an exchange as we returned to our labs a little over an hour after leaving:

Coworker: Wow, I didn’t know you could spend an hour just discussing the quirks and oddities of your coworkers.
Me: Yep.
Coworker: So…. same time next week?
Me: Yep.
Coworker: Ok, I’ll take notes this time.

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For tours, my workplace usually plays some animations of how our products work but due to one area being closed we had to replace it with something else.  Instead of said video, the blinds to the CAD area were opened so folk could peer in at the marvels of technology and design.  The person sitting next to the window opened up a drawing of our pouch and resumed his work.

Coworker 1: You can’t work on that!
Coworker 2: But this is what the work order is for.
Coworker 1: No no no.  Show them something good.
Coworker 2: Like what?
Coworker 1: Open one of the demo drawings that comes with the software like the 20 ton stonecrusher or the jet airplane wing.
Coworker 2: *opens plane wing* Now what do I do?
Coworker 1: Spin it, add a pouch to it, make sure it’s moving.  If it’s not spinning fast enough it’s not high tech.

By the time the tour came around, he had created a pinwheel out of airplane wings spinning at quite a healthy clip.  TECHNOLOGY, OOOOOOH.

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I’d noticed a change in the tenor of work but didn’t get confirmation as to the cause until recently:
Me: Hey
Coworker: Yeah?
Me: Is it just me or are there more well-dressed angry people walking around?
Coworker: Global Marketing got moved into our building and they miss their spacier cubicles.
Me: Ah, that would also explain the increase in the number of expensive yogurts in the fridge and the uptick in the number people buying chai from the cafeteria.
Coworker: Yes.  I think we should change the uniform of R&D to sweats and see if we can make them pop.

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I brought in oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and despite it being around 8:30 AM I saw about 1/2 were gone.  I poked around to see who was in and asked a coworker how many cookies he’d had to which he responded “six”.  “Really?” I asked, “I guess you really like them, then” I chuckled passive-aggressively. “No” he responded “I was just eating all the burnt ones so no one else would have to”.  Good idea, I should volunteer to eat all his steaks that I deem to have insufficient marbling and deem myself a public servant.

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Me: So, the new guy seems to be working intensely at his computer and he’s only been here for like a week.
Coworker: Yeah, it’s kind of impressive, considering he only has a keyboard and monitor with no actual computer.
Me: Wow, that’s dedication.

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One of my current boring tasks is preparing folders for work orders.  Apparently I prepared one incorrectly and received the following from an Eastern European Coworker:

Coworker: Terry.
Me: Yes?
Coworker: When you put sample drawings in folder, punch holes must be at top.
Me: Ok.  Does it matter?
Coworker: Does it matter?  Is vital!  I spend 40 minutes trying to figure out why drawing is upside down.  I created a whole AutoCAD file with upside down text and pouch spacing.  Then, I realized your problem and put new holes in the folder and had start over.  Now, paper is too light and when I go to file folder, I expect it heavier and slam wrist onto filing cabinet.  Is it important.

He told me.

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One of my current boring tasks is preparing folders for work orders.  Apparently I prepared one incorrectly and received the following from an Eastern European Coworker:

Coworker: Terry.
Me: Yes?
Coworker: When you put sample drawings in folder, punch holes must be at top.
Me: Ok.  Does it matter?
Coworker: Does it matter?  Is vital!  I spend 40 minutes trying to figure out why drawing is upside down.  I created a whole AutoCAD file with upside down text and pouch spacing.  Then, I realized your problem and put new holes in the folder and had start over.  Now, paper is too light and when I go to file folder, I expect it heavier and slam wrist onto filing cabinet.  Is it important.

He told me.