There’s been a few sick staff members around and staff humor has once again kicked in, these are two exchanges around the fact that I’ve had horrible diarrhea.
Pat: How are you feeling?
Me: Crappy
and
Pat: How’s the poo coming
Me: I’m going to call my rectum William Faulkner, because the only thing it’s produced is the Sound and the Fury.
Last night, I had to deal with a number of kids with homesickness, or what we call domestic nostalgia. Here’s what they said:
Kid: What music do you listen to?
Me: Mostly stuff from people who’ve been dead for 150 years.
Kid: Oh, like Van Halen.
Me: So what do you do for fun?
Kid: Collect souls, I bought Michael Jackson’s for $1.00.
Kid: You’re awesome at the guitar, you’re like that black guy.
Last night, I had to deal with a number of kids with homesickness, or what we call domestic nostalgia. Here’s what they said:
Kid: What music do you listen to?
Me: Mostly stuff from people who’ve been dead for 150 years.
Kid: Oh, like Van Halen.
Me: So what do you do for fun?
Kid: Collect souls, I bought Michael Jackson’s for $1.00.
Kid: You’re awesome at the guitar, you’re like that black guy.
Our camp has been hit by a rash of vandalism and today my sleeping quarters were struck, by possibly the dumbest vandal ever.
So, they broke in to our room, took my room mate’s digital camera, tinkled in another’s iced tea (and he found that out… orally) but completely missed the pile of money on my night stand. It was literally $200 in a styrofoam bowl filled with quarters. They also missed several thousands of dollars in Magic cards. A coworker is convinced that my reputation preceded me and the robber thinks my stuff is booby trapped or covered in UV-sensitive permanent ink. I hope that’s the case.
Our camp has been hit by a rash of vandalism and today my sleeping quarters were struck, by possibly the dumbest vandal ever.
So, they broke in to our room, took my room mate’s digital camera, tinkled in another’s iced tea (and he found that out… orally) but completely missed the pile of money on my night stand. It was literally $200 in a styrofoam bowl filled with quarters. They also missed several thousands of dollars in Magic cards. A coworker is convinced that my reputation preceded me and the robber thinks my stuff is booby trapped or covered in UV-sensitive permanent ink. I hope that’s the case.
Most of our administrators spend either the morning or afternoon MBWA (managing by walking around) and some of the newer administrators are lighter on the lingo.
Anthony: Well, I’m done office duty, I think I’m going to go manage the WNBA.
FAIL
Most of our administrators spend either the morning or afternoon MBWA (managing by walking around) and some of the newer administrators are lighter on the lingo.
Anthony: Well, I’m done office duty, I think I’m going to go manage the WNBA.
FAIL
Me:Â So why are you carrying around a [electrical plug-in] fan?
Staffer: It’s hot out here.
Me: Where do you plug it in?Staffer: I’m working on that.
This staffer works in a program area about a 1/2 mile from the nearest power outlet.
So a pipe was leaking:
Me: what do you think’s causing it?
Other Staffer: I think it’s the valve. Every time it’s open, the pipe leaks.
Mind you, the leak was no where near the valve.
I’m constantly amazed by some people’s failure in guessing ages but this one took the cake:
Staffer: How old do you think the twins are?
CIT: One’s 17 and the other’s 18.