People who can’t make comparisons make me sad:
Lowe’s Associate: So, it’s like a big arrow?
Me: No, there’s no bow.
Lowe’s Associate: Â Then what is it?
Me: A 6-foot arm actuated dart.
Lowe’s Associate: like a slingshot?
Me: No, there’s no elastic material.
Lowe’s Associate: Oh, so like a lawn dart?
Me: ……….. Yes, a lawn dart that can tear through plywood and kill any land mammal ever to have lived.
Lowe’s Associate: Â Okay, I think I threw those when I was on the track team. (Or something like that, by then my ears were turning themselves off in an effort to reduce my blood pressure).
Tag: atlatl
DIY Pole Vaulting
My atlatl darts came yesterday while I was at work so I picked it up at the post office. Â The box was about 7 feet long and 4″ x 4″ prompting the postal worker to ask what it was. Â I replied “Do-it-yourself pole vaulting kit”.
Hm… What beats marriage?
I’ve been upstaged! Â On my first day back to work I expected to be showed with roses and fine chocolates as Terry, Banisher of Confusion and Bringer of Enlightenment, but no, one of my coworkers had to go and get engaged, so all today was “Hey Ter- Oh my God that’s beautiful engagement ring”. Â I will not take this injustice lightly. Â When she tells everyone she’s getting married, BAM! Nobel Prize in Atlatlry, heh heh heh.
A usage for border collies
Pat and Clara doubted the glory of the atlatl and I was on a mission to prove the supremacy of meso-American weapons. We (that’s Pat, Clara, me and the dog Tipsy, a border collie) went to a park in King of Prussia and my heart sank as I saw there were no lights by which to find the dart. Â Pat cast a dart hoping the ambient light of King of Prussia would be enough, and the projectile disappeared into oblivion. Â After about 30 seconds of scanning the field for the missing when a black and white splotch approached us. Â It was Tipsy, the border collie, with the dart in it’s mouth. Â For the next hour we cast slobber-covered darts into the darkness only to have them returned by an over-enthusiastic border collie. Â It’s doubtful that I will ever be able to train Max to do the same.
CIT, megatharium, what's the difference?
I received a quotation for antlatlry department at camp and was surprised when the total cost would be under $1000 including targets. Â This of course, does not include labor but hey, that’s what CITs are for. Â Now, I’m trying to find appropriate targets and am wondering if instead of using many targets like say a foam deer, I can save money and just buy one foam mastadon. Â I know Scouting doesn’t permit shooting at animal likenesses but in this case at least the kids won’t have a gut reflex to shoot at the damn thing since it’s been extinction for 10,000 years.
Atlatl Test Flight
I tried the atlatl for the first time. Â BETTER THAN SEX! Â It is the world’s least graceful projectile but makes almost no noise as it lands. Â This means I could be walking around Temple’s campus, unleash an atlatl dart on some trailer tornado-bait white trash skank mama and disappear into the multitudes and escape unscathed. Â During the evening, Dave came over and after driving around discovered that Feasterville has few good night atlatl practice areas. Â I plan on writing the township about this.
Can't kill a deer? Settle for mastadon.
My atlatl has arrived. Â Atlatl’s are a primative weapon that was used by those in the neolithic era as a technological advancement over the spear. Â The atlatl has also recently been legalized for hunting in Pennsylvania and after stealing my brother’s hunting journal have bronzed the article. Â Note to reader: don’t bronze flammable materials, you just get a lump of bronze. Â I over came this by rewriting the headline of the article in a Sharpie on said lump of bronze. Â Later I talked with a bow enthusiast friend and he swore up and down that there’s no way a piece of bamboo and a dart could take down a deer. Â I agreed with him, that it probably could take down a 170 lb deer at 50 ft, so I’d have to settle for being able to take down a 4 ton mastadon at 150 feet. Â Damn.