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I’ve always hated with a profound passion product commercials with ridiculous setups such as the vacuum cleaner that demolishes a pyramid of sand (my favorite was the hand-held vacuum that picked up a bucket of bolts on carpet, like they’d spilled there moments before a party was to begin).  During my road to colonic convalescence I’ve taken to soup and cereal.  As the cereal level dropped the box started wobbling, nudged by the ceiling fan until it toppled, lid open and landed open-side down on the kitchen floor.  I lifted the box leaving a nice pyramid of cereal.  I reached for the un-necessarily strong hand-vacuum and a piece of me died as it casually consumed the cereal that would have otherwise been left for the dog.

Next up: Dropping my bolt collection onto the rug moments before my brother starts a kegger.

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I’ve always hated with a profound passion product commercials with ridiculous setups such as the vacuum cleaner that demolishes a pyramid of sand (my favorite was the hand-held vacuum that picked up a bucket of bolts on carpet, like they’d spilled there moments before a party was to begin).  During my road to colonic convalescence I’ve taken to soup and cereal.  As the cereal level dropped the box started wobbling, nudged by the ceiling fan until it toppled, lid open and landed open-side down on the kitchen floor.  I lifted the box leaving a nice pyramid of cereal.  I reached for the un-necessarily strong hand-vacuum and a piece of me died as it casually consumed the cereal that would have otherwise been left for the dog.

Next up: Dropping my bolt collection onto the rug moments before my brother starts a kegger.

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Worst of all from this point of view are those more uncivilized forms of eating, like licking an ice cream cone–a catlike activity that has been made acceptable in informal America but that still offends those who know eating in public is offensive. … Eating on the street–even when undertaken, say, because one is between appointments and has no other time to eat–displays [a] lack of self-control: It beckons enslavement to the belly. … Lacking utensils for cutting and lifting to mouth, he will often be seen using his teeth for tearing off chewable portions, just like any animal. … This doglike feeding, if one must engage in it, ought to be kept from public view, where, even if we feel no shame, others are compelled to witness our shameful behavior.

-Leon Kass, in a Report on Bio-fucking-ethics via The New Republic

Funny “uh oh” not funny “ha ha”

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Worst of all from this point of view are those more uncivilized forms of eating, like licking an ice cream cone–a catlike activity that has been made acceptable in informal America but that still offends those who know eating in public is offensive. … Eating on the street–even when undertaken, say, because one is between appointments and has no other time to eat–displays [a] lack of self-control: It beckons enslavement to the belly. … Lacking utensils for cutting and lifting to mouth, he will often be seen using his teeth for tearing off chewable portions, just like any animal. … This doglike feeding, if one must engage in it, ought to be kept from public view, where, even if we feel no shame, others are compelled to witness our shameful behavior.

-Leon Kass, in a Report on Bio-fucking-ethics via The New Republic

Funny “uh oh” not funny “ha ha”

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I couldn’t think of anything interested that had happened during the OA weekend but slowly a repressed memory returned.  I had to double check with Chris Fosmire that it had actually happened as the incident was almost somnogogic.

I was in Totem Lodge, the main social building in camp and asked Chris Fosmire when I had gotten Vigil Honor, a level of recognition in the OA and he responded late August of 2001.  Mr. Williams, a crazy machinist who’s been in the OA since the dawn of Treasure Island that perpetually wears safety glasses thought for a moment a looked at me and said: It all makes sense.

Me: What does?
Him: You got Vigil in August and four weeks later, 9/11.

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I couldn’t think of anything interested that had happened during the OA weekend but slowly a repressed memory returned.  I had to double check with Chris Fosmire that it had actually happened as the incident was almost somnogogic.

I was in Totem Lodge, the main social building in camp and asked Chris Fosmire when I had gotten Vigil Honor, a level of recognition in the OA and he responded late August of 2001.  Mr. Williams, a crazy machinist who’s been in the OA since the dawn of Treasure Island that perpetually wears safety glasses thought for a moment a looked at me and said: It all makes sense.

Me: What does?
Him: You got Vigil in August and four weeks later, 9/11.

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Ryan Griff recently completed an Eagle project of collecting soccer equipment and was featured under the headline “Eagle Scout Scores”.  That should help recruitment and advancement.

Sadly, they fixed the headline in the online edition to “Eagle Scout Scores Multiple Goals” which is much harder to twist to an innuendo.

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Robert Kopa-something-or-other from my Troop had his Eagle Court of Honor yesterday and the normal collection of delegates from state and local government were present, one being the attaché to Dennis O’Brien, the PA Speaker of the House. He talked about how he didn’t know what to say and used the following amazing quote to explain what Eagle meant to him.

“Two hundred years ago, President Theodore Roosevelt said the following ‘Do not foul, do not flinch’, and this Eagle hasn’t.”

Theodore Roosevelt running two hundred years ago, wow. Considering he was president from 1901 to 1908 that would mean he had a 93 year campaign, and I thought Reagan had a long campaign time.

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This post does not have humor as its primary purpose.  Live with it.

If you’ve seen the commercials for “Expelled” you’ve seen Ben Stein raise his hand and “where life came from?” as some sort of polemic directed against evolution.  This is simply ridiculous as it’s not evolution’s job to explain that.  Evolution steps in the moment life exists to explain how it changes and a damn fine job it’s done and doesn’t attempt to explain origins.  Requiring that it explain life’s origin would be like insubstantiating classical mechanics because while it can explain the motion of the ball it can’t explain where the ball came from.  Gha….

As a side note, Expelled Exposed has a wonderful run down of the errors of both omission and comission it commits.  If anyone wants to go see it with me and sit there and probably be angry for a few hours afterwards, I’m game.

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I purchased a chicken cheesesteak today from the local Quikchek or what ever butchered spelling it uses and was miffed when I got the wrong sandwich.

Me: This is a turkey grinder, I ordered the chicken cheesesteak.
Sandwich Lady:  We’re out of chicken, so I switched it with another meat from the same animal.

He reasoning was so flawless I couldn’t argue.