Anthony Celona and I splurged on a fine Italian dinner at Mamma D’s in Plumsteadville, PA and I got a full contact lesson on Italian food. Â Don’t get me wrong, I’m open to new foods, I’ve tried seal jerky for Christ Sakes and will consume a mammal no matter how fatty or cute. Â I tried the cream of olive soup. Â Now, cream soups should be as their name states, creamy, but the creaming agent should not be a stick of butter. Â And in a cream soup the the flavoring is typically subtle. Â Instead I received a bowl of table olives someone had attacked with an EZ Chopper in a stick of butter. Â Besides this culinary abomination when asked why I didn’t like it I simply used my old standby “it was salty” no one ever second guesses this but the moment you say “it was poorly prepared” or “improperly spiced” an inquisition begins. Â I stated I wasn’t used to Italian food as my mother was from Belfast, the server then stated “isn’t that north of Sicily”, I simply responded “yes”. Â And some people say I have no tact.
Author: Terry
Songs get stuck in your head, downtown
Some Faulknerian Idiot Manchild was humming Petula Clark’s Downtown on the train and it got stuck in my head. This is what the day wound up sounding like.
MSOM 105: “Using the distance formula will not minimize distances in most factories” “Downtown”
IH 0051: “The goal of Jnana Yoga is the worship the godhead” “Downtown”
ACT 0002: “If you guys don’t start participating I’m going to ask you to go” “Downtown”
SOC 0062: “Examples of racial discrimination can still be found in many of American’s institutions” “Downtown”
STAT 212: “When calculating the value of some sample space with an unknown variance, the Tschybechev Inequality can give you an upper board to the standard deviation assuming a small number epsilon””Downtown.”
Yeah, I know, that last one didn’t work at all but it’s fucking Stat 212. It’s like the alphabet and the number line had sex and they taped it.
Dead men fill no driver logs
My insurance company offers a discount to drivers under 25 that maintain a driver’s log and answer a brief survey about one’s driving habits. Â I shuffled through the log with a bubble wrap cover and saw the accident report form in the back, a form I’ve seen a dozen times in various insurance course. Â What made this form different were the lines “what are you going to do to avoid accidents in the future?” and “did you remember to tell your parents?”
Quite while you're behind, Chuck.
Chuck decided to argue with me. Â He and I were asked to draw up changes to the parking policy. Â I stated that we should have someone stand at the entrance gate. Â He said we wouldn’t have to if people would read the instructions we gave them. Â I then stated we could remind the camping secretary to remind them, and he said they could carry in their gear if they weren’t such wusses. Â I replied that wasn’t within the scope of what we were asked to do, he said that didn’t matter… Now, normally, I’m up for a good argument, but a series of precisely executed non-sequitors doesn’t meet this criterion. Â Gah! Â Logical fallacies should be considered misdemeanor offenses.
When are you due?
The PTQ saw me as the designated driver to do the Wawa run for lunch. Â I assembled the food for the five of us and as I approached the counter to pay the attendent said “hungry?” in that funny way that both recognized that I was shopping for multiple people and called me fat. Â After moving the 5 sandwiches, 2 cups of soup, 3 gallons of beverage, and 3 pieces of fruit next to the register, I grabbed by gut and responsed “I am buying for five.” Â I think there was about a 60% chance based on the look on her face that she thought I was pregnant.
What do you mean switches don't come pre-Sharpied?
My 8-Port Switch took a beating while at Summer Camp and I puchased a new one from Staples a week ago with plans on returning the old one in it’s stead. Â I walk in non-schalantly and put the perfectly boxed switch on the customer service counter and then my plan hit a snag. Â The service agent turned the device around and showed me where I had marked in multi-color Sharpie which ports worked and which went to what device. Â Oops. Â So, I did the only thing I could, I told a rediculous lie. Â I looked the rep straight in the eye and said “It came like that”.
Ah, my perineum!
After watching a lot of Voyager yesterday, I noticed today’s episodes stalled. After fiddling I discovered it was my new Plextor PX-755SA, THE ONE I GOT TWO FUCKING DAYS AGO. In that this is my 3rd Plextor drive that will have needed replacement in 2 months, I’ve created a new device for Plextor customer service. 
I call it the taint-bat. The custom taintpin is designed to maximize taint-bat combat and ensure good connection. The pin is located on the sweetspot to minimize vibration and lead to a more comfortable experience for the taint-bludgeoner.
Pride about knowledge of Prejudice
I was reviewing for my Soc 0064 American Ethnicities exam and was worried that discriminatory lending was the only case of discrimination without prejudice that I could come up with. Â Worried that this was insufficient I smiled when I saw the 2nd test question started out with “John works at a bank and cannot lend to those with bad credit, which may overproportionately affect African Americans, this is an example of”. Â I got a few glances as I pumped my fists wildly.
CIT, megatharium, what's the difference?
I received a quotation for antlatlry department at camp and was surprised when the total cost would be under $1000 including targets. Â This of course, does not include labor but hey, that’s what CITs are for. Â Now, I’m trying to find appropriate targets and am wondering if instead of using many targets like say a foam deer, I can save money and just buy one foam mastadon. Â I know Scouting doesn’t permit shooting at animal likenesses but in this case at least the kids won’t have a gut reflex to shoot at the damn thing since it’s been extinction for 10,000 years.
Trash of the Old Republic
I woke up late and some of my stuff was not cleaned up in the main room of Totem Lodge. Â I left to take care of something and came back seeing a pile of my stuff on the table, Mrs. Lutz told me to clean up my trash. Â I smiled when I saw Plato’s Republic in the center of the pile.