Sometime in November I’m gunning to make a Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator-style ad for Scouting.  Tell me if you have a dumb phrase or image to add:

• Program so intense saying the pledge of allegiance will send you into a coma
• You’ll learn so much about citizenship you’ll be able to vote twice (like in Chicago)
• It’s like playing sports except instead of running in circles and getting trophies made of plastic you run up mountains and get patches made of awesome.  Awesome also happens to be sell great on eBay.
• You’ll Scout so hard that you’ll put entire platoons of army rangers out of a job and you’ll stop their whining by silencing them with the mesmerizing power of the sheet bend.
• We’ll give you skills with an S instead of skills with a z because that’s how it’s spelled, damn it.
• You’ll learn so much you’ll get a Nobel prize in knowing everything about the outdoors.  And you’ll use the metal to create a solar oven to cook a velociraptor you trapped with a snare made out hair from your pet herd of rabid wolverines.