Suburban Adventure

Nurse: Mr. Robinson, please step onto the scale
Me: What’s the capacity of the scale?
Nurse: Don’t worry.
Me: I’m pretty sure I’m over capacity.
Nurse: Just step on.
*I step onto scale, needle spins wildly and it stops at 320*
Me: I weigh a lot more than than that, I’m closer to 380.
Nurse: Ah, don’t worry, today you’re 60 lbs lighter.

I paid the price when I woke up partway through the operation and started kicking (even sedated I’m not dumb enough to move my mouth around with a scalpel and pliers in it.)
Doctor: God damn it, why is he kicking, who determined the dosage?

On the plus size, I could pretty much walk away when I was done, as opposed to the 24 hour down time that would have occur if I had gotten the right fucking dose.Â On the way out, the nurse refused to talk to me as she said I wouldn’t remember any of this in an hour, at which point I pointed out an error on the billing statement which indicated I had 4 fully impacted teeth instead of 2 fine and 2 impacted.Â I’m pretty sure the nurse’s death stare could have boiled water.

PrescriptionsÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â $56.25
ConsultationÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â $128.00
Wisdom Teeth RemovalÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â $1964.00
Being able to correct a nurse when I shouldn’t be able to count to 3Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Priceless