Our report time was 8:00 AM, all of us, that is which is something I’d never encountered previously at a GP.  We stared blankly into the middle distance while sorting basic lands (something that I think should be included in judge exams) and listening to how the task assignments for the day would have the constancy of a desert rain puddle.  For a few brief periods, I had a judge candidate/judgeling/level zero to proctor and I began working my magic.  Most judges go over rulings with protojudges, I focus on more prosaic concerns.

Me: The three most important questions you’ll ever receive are “where are the bathrooms”, “how much time is left”, and “uh, what does this card do”.  Most of the time you’ll be answering the first two so don’t feel bad if you don’t know the last one occasionally.
Judgeling: So rules knowledge isn’t important?
Me: No, it’s very important for a tournament, but you don’t need to be the expert all the time.  That’s like expecting a librarian to memorize rather than locate books.   It’s important to have your docket of speeches prepared.
Judgeling: Like what?
Me: When I start a booster draft I introduce myself “hi, my name is Terry Robinson and I’m a level two judge from Philadelphia.  I do two things: run 8-mans and screw up judge calls.  Remember that before you raise your hand.”
Judgeling: I think I understand, do you have any other advice?
Me: Wash your judge shirt inside out to reduce wear on the logos.

I was flattered when my name came up during his interview.  I don’t know in what context, but I still felt good.