My dog Max had two tumors removed from his haunches three years ago and we’ve been checking for returns regularly.  Over the last year my dad’s been noting the growth of a large… something near where Max’s legs meet his body.   We took him to the vet and my dad asked me to interpret the results:

Dad: Doctor said Max had “excess fat in his subcutaneous tissue”.  What do we do about it?
Me: Feed him less and have him get more exercise.
Dad: What’s that going to do about a tumor?
Me: It’s not a tumor.
Dad: Certainly sounds like it.
Me: Dad, the vet’s telling us that Max has a fat ass.
Dad: Oh.