I was having dinner with some people when someone challenged my usage of “sharp as shit” and Terry “The 10,000 Point Dickhatted Colon Expert responded”.

Me: Well actually, stool can become quite sharp.  If one has a portion of the intestine bypassed existing fecal matter can dry out and harden up.  The salts contained will start to crystallize out like the razor-sharp balls of Play-Doo that everyone’s encountered.  These comproliths or “shit-sicles” as they’re sometimes call, can lacerate the colon and do significant harm. I’d certainly call that sharp shit.”

I panned the table looking at the stupor I’d induced in my dinner companions.  Is there such thing as a conversational Phyrric victory?  Maybe I should stop at correcting the error of “dry as a bone”.