There were a lot of streaks on the floor today from someone’s shoes, I asked and the co-worker I recently can’t stand cut in with the following:

Him: They’re probably yours.  You’re so fat you can’t help but leave shoe marks.  It’s ok, Terry.

The oddity was, that immediately before he said this, another coworker admitted that she had streaky shoes but he decided to advance his theory any way.  I look forward to more of his awkward and idiotic claims about the influence of my carriage on the surrounding environs.