Spring has begun, I tried to mow the lawn. You can tell your house has fallen into dis-repair when you have to mow your brick patio. Otherwise, the mowing was easy with the exception of the horny-teenage-like mower’s inability to be turned off. I did what any reasonable person would do, I piled up a bunch of leaves and shoved some sticks into it and ran the mower over it until the blade stopped. I then counted to 10 and pulled the stick out praying it wouldn’t start up again. At which point my dad ran out and told me the correct way to turn it off: pump the oxygen input until smoke comes out and then pull the spark-plug out fastest enough to now burn yourself but slow enough to not have it spark and light the leaves on fire. The wisdom of age.